Jack The Super Farmer II: The Return Of Hypnotizing Ultra Geeky Glasses Of Great Seduction (AKA HUGGGS) One Year After The Geek-Lord Incident In The Aja Winery Basement... "AHA!" Yells a dark figure lurking in the shadows of the Aja Winery Basement, "With the help of The Evil Geek-Lord Rick's Blueprints and tools, I have transformed the Hypnotizing Ultra Geeky Glasses Of Great Seduction (HUGGGS) into Hypnotizing Our Trusting Townsfolk Yo (AKA HOTTY)!!! Now I shall be able to hypnotize the people of Mineral Town and look cool at the same time! I shall rule this town. But only after I kill that loser Jack! MWAHHAHAHAHHAHA!" Chapter One- Enter Jack The Super Farmer At Jack The Super Farmer's Super Farm... Our hero wakes up on a crisp autumn morning and Jack the Super Farmer decides to feed his dog Koro for the first time in its life. He then rushes to his horse just to find that it had mysteriously disappeared. "I have got to stop using that Inf. Lumber Code!" "No Jack! It wasn't the code! It was me! Barley!" "But why Barley! Was it because I didn't show kindness and love to my horse. And I neglected it for a year? And now you want to teach me a warm hearted lesson?" "Heck no! That would be stupid! Who cares about its health or leasons learned! I took it because I was mad that you left me out of your first battle with Rick!" "Sorry, it's just that you have no skills. Won can sell stuff, Gotz can get anyone drunk in two drinks. You...you just live with cows and sheep." "OOH!! I'll get you for that! Next time Jack! Next time! MWAHAHAHAHHA!" Then the now insane Barley leaps into the shipping bin and waits to be sold. With that our hero rushes to Grocery Store for the latest scoop and to buy his ADD medication. "Hey Jeff! What's the latest scoop?" "Oh you know! The usual. Some dark figure doing the lurking, the shadows, the creepy hiding. Ya know. The usual stuff." "What's wrong with simply lurking, hiding in shadows? I do it every Tuesday night with Karen." "YOU WHAT!" "Uh...nothing! Back to the latest scoop." "Right. Turns out that while he was lurking in the shadows, he was adding onto Rick's HUGGGS! They are now called HOTTY!" "What does HOTTY stand for?" "Hypnotizing Our Trusting Townsfolk....Yo!" "Do we have any idea what the motive for this hypnotizing is for?" "Not at all. We don't even know who the dark shadow lurking is!" "How did this dark figure get a hold of HUGGGS? I thought the Harvest Sprites were keeping it safe." "That's how the dark figure got it. The Sprites were so angry about the whole restraining order being lifted that they sold the dark figure HUGGGS for ten loaves of bread each!" "Even Timid? He was my FAVORITE!" "Excuse me Jack, but isn't that WHY the restraining order was issued?" "Oh yeah it is. Ha ha. So we don't know who this dark figure is huh?" "Nope." "Hmm. Not good. Well I'll be taking that there Ritalin now." "Good. You need it." "What was that?" "Have a good day Jack!" "Oh. You too." Chapter Two- The First Hypnotism At the church... "I will try out HOTTY here! The unsuspecting Carter will never see it coming for he is an unsuspecting townsfolk yo!" Knock Knock Knock! "Hello?" says Carter as he opens the door. "I have to confess." "But it's midnight!" "It is? Oops. What I did was really bad though." "Oh. Okay. Come on in. Let's go into this room and talk." "Good. Where no one can hear you scream as I hypnotize you!" "What was that?" "Um...I littered?" "Shame on you! The Harvest Goddess has not forgiven you. And some day you will pay the price!" "Sorry Carter, but look this way." BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! "Now I must get the rest of the men in the town! They will help me take out that loser Super Jack!" Chapter Three- Not a Surprise Birthday Party The next day at the Grocery Store... "What's with that dazed look on your face Jeff? You look like you've been... OH MY HARVEST GODDESS! YOU'VE BEEN HYPNOTIZED BY HOTTY! AH! OH NO!" "What ever do you mean Jack the Super Farter...I mean Farmer?" "Riiight." "Come with me! I have new information regarding the Dark Figure Lurking In The Shadows of Aja Winery's Basement case." "Is that what we're calling it now?" "Um yes. Just follow me." "I have a bad feeling about this" Thinks our hero "But it just might bring me closer to finding out who is behind HOTTY." The now hypnotized Jeff leads our beloved hero to the Church. "Take the door to the right. I will join you shortly." "Um. Okay." So our hero slowly walks towards the door on the right. He then opens the door to find that all of his friends are there. "Gotz! Doug! Everyone else! What are you doing here! My birthday isn't until the twenty seventh of the winter season!" "Oh they're not here for your birthday fool." "Who is that? You look dark because you're lurking in the shadows. HEY! You're the one who rebuilt HUGGGS!" "Guilty as charged Jack the Super Farter." "Who are you?" "Wouldn't you like to know?" asked the dark figure as he crept into the light. "Kai Boy! How could you!" "How couldn't I? I spent season after season being your sidekick! Even though I was better looking, better dressed, and overall better!" "Kai Boy... You got issues." "So what! I'm still better than you. And now you shall die!" "You can't kill me! This is a kid's story!" "Blast! Your right! I alone cannot kill you. I must use my great army of hypnotized townsfolk! ATTACK!" "WAIT! That's not fair! You must give me a chance to gather an army of my own!" "Why MUST I?" "That's the way the author wrote it!" "Curses. Fine. You have a day!" Chapter Four- Jack Meets The Harvest Goddess So our hero dashes into the church and back out of it through the front entrance. After a few hours of searching, our hero discovers that EVERYONE has been hypnotized. "After a few hours of searching, I have discovered that EVERYONE has been hypnotized." "Not everyone Jack." "WHA! AH! WHO IS IT?!" "It’s The..." "AH! IS IT YOU GOD! AH!" "Kind of. It's me! The Ha..." "AH!!!!! GO AWAY VOICES!" "Shut up or I will cast you into the Butt Crack of Doom!" "..." "That's better. It is I! The Harvest Goddess! And I have not been hypnotized. As a matter of fact, you will find that many have not been hypnotized." "Like who?" "Me, Kappa, Gourmet Judge, and even my little friends the Harvest Sprites." "But... Gourmet Judge isn't mythical or magical or anything." "No, but he doesn't live in Mineral Town." "Gotcha. So I'm supposed to defeat my old sidekick and his army of hypnotized townsfolk with a green haired lady, a green skinned fish guy, a fat guy with big lips, and a couple of little people that hate my guts?" "Exactly!" "I guess it’s worth a try." So our hero rushes to Kappa's Pond. "Sure I'll help Jack. Just deposit ten cucumbers." "Ten?! HARVEST GODDESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "What?" "Send him to the Butt Crack of Doom!" "AH!" yells Kappa, "I'll help for free! Sheesh!" At Doug's Place... "His phone is right over there HG." "Jack." "Yes?" "NEVER call me HG" "Oh. Sorry." "Hello? Gourmet Judge? This is the Harvest Goddess. Jack the Super Farmer needs your help. You will? Oh great. Thank you!" At the Harvest Sprites' House... "AH! Keep him *budum* away!" "Now come one Staid! Jack is a changed man! He won't do what he did to you guys last time!" "Then why is he starring at *budum* Nappy so oddly?" "What are you talking about Bold? Oh. JACK! GET NAPPY OUT OF YOUR MOUTH! YOU ate him! He's gone!" "He he. Sorry about that Harvest Goddess. Let's go. These elves don't wanna help." "HEY!" Yell all the Harvest Sprites in unison, "We're *budum* Sprites!" "Mumhp! Phumgph HMMMPH! MMPH!" "What was that *budum* Nappy?" "Mumhp! Phumgph HMMMPH! MMPH!" "Oh. He agrees!" says Chef. "Whatever," says our hero, "Do you want to help or not?" "Will you promise never to come over again?" asks Aqua. "Yes... I guess so." "Then we're in!" Chapter Five- THE ATTACK!!! The Next Day At The Beach... "Alright Kai! Come out! We're ready to fight you!" "Are you now? Hmmm. HYPNOTIZED TOWNSFOLK ATTACK!" "Harvest Goddess! Curse them so something weird happens to them." "HIYA! ZAP!" "OW! A 3 Ton boulder just fell from the sky and squashed me!" yells Gotz. "Ouch! A giant squid just pulled me into the Oc...glug glug glug" screams Jeff. "Sorry Jack! I'm all out of magic!" "Darn. Kappa! CUCUMBER ATTACK THEM!" "YES SIR! TAKE THAT HYPNOTIZED SCUM!" With that, Kappa leaps into the air and throws giant cucumbers at 3 more townsfolk. "Gourmet Judge! Harvest Sprites! TAKE OUT THE REST! BUT LEAVE KAI BOY FOR ME!" "BUDUM BUDUM! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Looks like it’s just you and me Kai Boy!" "That's another thing. Why can't I be Kai Man?" "I don't kno..." Just then, Kai slams his fist into our hero's stomach. "Because I am now Kai The Super Villain! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Not so fast Kai BOY!" With that, our hero pulls out his three trusty hoes (Regular, Blessed, and Mythic) and slams them into the ground, causing a massive earth quake which causes a gigantic wave to engulf the beach and half of Mineral Town. The Next Day... "All bodies present and accounted for *budum* except for Kai's" says Chef "Harvest Goddess? Can you tell us where he went?" "Yes. He escaped to a town called Flower Bud Village." "But how?" "While changing HUGGGS into HOTTY, Kai added a time freezing feature. He simply froze time, right before the wave hit, and hopped into Zack's boat a sped away." "All that matters is that the day is saved." "Not really. You destroyed half of the town." "Oh. I well I saved the day for the other half of the town! And that's all that matters!" THE END!