america rocks

patriot.jpgAs some may know, today is the greatest day in the history of the world. Today commemorates the founding of a superior nation – one whose cunning, strength, faith, and arrogance would lead it to success in everything. Our food tastes better, our nerds are nerdier, and our wrestlers are gayer. But we’re also the world’s most modest nation, and that, I think, is why we’re so beloved.

So let’s not forget to honor those who have died on the battlefields to make us better than everyone, and let’s also pay homage to the puny weakling nations we protect. They adore us, and we make their lives better. Here’s to another 230 years of sheltering the world from tyranny, by conquering one nation at a time.

(image: nerdgod)

12 thoughts on “america rocks

  1. ditto, but ill have to dissagree with u on the nerds nerdier, japan beats
    us at that. also, i think they are more modern than us too, but we can still kick there asses.

  2. i’m sticking with our nerds man. we’ve come up with the most technological breakthroughs in modern years, and silicon valley’s far nerdier than anywhere in japan. but overall, sure, they’re more modern than us, because they aren’t as sprawling.

  3. wtf are you talking about, blowjob? our nerds defined nerd-ism and america defines modern. so think before you speak, and remember to get off mah nuts!

  4. All america stands for these days is: a bunch of self-righteous, over zealous, self-fulfilling, bible-beating, bastards who think the world revolves around them! I say fuck america. How far the mighty have fallen…

    P/S: Scott, did you get a new car?! A 4-runner? That just…isn’t you…you drive a mustang…forever…

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