1) Bizarre, grotesque, and unnecessary violence. People get hurt in ways that rival the most ridiculous deaths of the Final Destination trilogy.
2) Abuse of small animals. Who doesn’t like to see annoying little dogs named Mary Kate get what they deserve?
3) Cultural diversity. Ninjas, rappers, and nerds are all tossed into the mix and react exactly as you would expect them to.
4) Heartwarming, tender moments. From the newlyweds to the little boys traveling alone to the elderly flight attendant’s dire choices, there are enough tearjerking moments to keep your grandmother satisfied.
5) Shaft. Samuel L. Jackson is at his finest, barking orders, saving lives, getting pissed, and causing destruction that puts Katrina in its place.
It’s exactly what you’d expect it to be, and for that reason, you should go see it. What more could I possibly have wanted, you may ask? Well, maybe a little time travel, some aliens, and a nuclear threat. But better acting would have just ruined it.