got a minute? get a degree

(c) comedy centralIf you’ve got a year and a half you’re willing to set aside to prepare for an undoubtedly successful career, head over to Norwich University Online and earn a quick degree in diplomacy. I find it reassuring that one can learn everything he needs to know about international diplomacy in such a brief stint. Surely a fleeting online presentation series will prepare even the most inexperienced college graduate for a lifetime representing his country and dealing with pressing international issues.

I’m not against graduate programs. I’m not even against taking classes online – after all, some of the greatest stuff in the world can be learned from the internets. But taking a graduate program online…wait, actually, I am against taking classes online. So of course the idea of mastering foreign relations through a year and a half of sitting around drinking coke and clicking links doesn’t strike me as a useful endeavor. Oh, but continued education is important. After all, if you aren’t well-educated, you might end up as President, or proudly serving in the army. I’m not sure which, because the joke was so horribly botched.

Of course, a sedentary diplomat is probably more capable than an active one, so my hat’s off to the fine institution and the work they do for our nation. Keep rollin’ out the heroes.

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