A good way to get out of work is to have someone call you and say it’s an emergency. Then when you answer the phone, get real quiet, and say, “How did you get this number?” Pause, then say, “OK, I’ll be there – just don’t hurt them.” If you think your boss might have missed this part, feel free to repeat it louder. Then hang up, turn to your boss, and say, “I have to go out for a while…something’s come up,” and leave before he can say anything.
When you get back to work (preferably several days later), your boss may ask where you were, or if everything’s OK. Just look at the floor and say, “I may be gone again soon…” If he ends up firing you after several absences, you can arrange to have a friend or family member murdered to make your story look legit, and then sue the company for all it’s worth.
(image: keith’s postcards)