First of all, my fellow posters suck. Austin’s too busy being a man to post, and Walter’s just…Walter sucks.
With that out of the way, yes, I am comparing myself to Hitler. No, I don’t want the Jews exterminated. Yes, I do have a struggle. My struggle, however, is the curse of the unusually large turd. For three days, I had to time my dumps so as to correspond to times when I was in restaurants or other public places. Why? Because the toilet at my uncle’s house is phenomenally weak, as are all modern toilets. Why must the average toilet be unable to handle the five pounds of feces I’m required to deposit daily?
Needless to say, I just had one of the most relaxing craps I’ve ever taken in my life.