the a-man is delivering lies

superman1.jpgHero? I think not.
superman22.jpg

Why you shouldn’t go see Superman Returns:
It f*cking blows, everything that happens is totally unbelievable. Sure, it’s Superman, but can Superman lift a f*cking continent with his two arms without breaking a sweat? DC Comics seems to think so. Also, it’s 2 and a half (or so) hours long filled with a lovey-dovey cliche crap-pot of Superman and the not that hot Lois Lane. Superman never has any troubles doing what he needs to when danger calls, and even (spoiler ahead) when exposed to kryptonite, that deadly green sh*t. He doesn’t freaking die. That sh*t is stuck in his freaking back like 6 inches deep, but all he does is moan and groan like he’s on his period. Also, the writers of the movie tried to come up with clever little sayings such as, “The son becomes the father, and the father the sun.” WTF man. The father becomes the sun? Oh that’s cool. So at the end what does Superman do? Fly into the m-fing sun. How clever. Guys, this movie isn’t terrible, but it’s not what it’s hyped up to be. I was thoroughly dissapointed and wanted my money back when I walked out.

-Andrew

11 thoughts on “the a-man is delivering lies

  1. So this was posted by Little Walter? Impressive.
    Yeah, that sounds pretty crappy. If he gets kryptonite in his back, I want him to turn inside-out or explode or something. Honestly.

  2. I don’t want profanity on my main page. I don’t really want it in the comments either, but people complain, so I cave in.

    And since when was being in high school not cool? Was dropping out “all the rage” and I was just poorly informed?

  3. (A) Dirk is a fucking idiot (2)(as seen as above) Dirk is a fucking idiot (III) Dirk is a fucking idiot.

    my apologies for the profanity scott

  4. dirk: they said it throughout the movie as if it were luther, so i can understand how newbs would get confused.

    Also, i have quite a few arguments as to why this film was a good movie.
    —————–
    first: The movie is clearly NOT THE ORIGINAL. The movie is what people tend to call a SEQUEL. Neither the idea, the character, or the past could be changed in the movie without making for room for asshats to come back and point out inconsistencies. In many movies that belong to a set, the beginning will recap the essence of the story where the last movie left off. It seems like a very artistic and prolific way of doing this by using 3 sentences and a few quotes to allude to the past movies; instead of, spending a good 20 minutes summarizing the Superman story in detail.
    —————-
    second: The character does have depth, they just assumed that the people who would go see the movie would have either a) read the comics and understood the character OR b) watched the other movies, and understood the character. We can all sit in a theater and say “bullshit, this is so unrealistic!” To that, I say “dur duddurrrr! ITS A FUCKING MOVIE!” not only is superman returns a movie, IT COMES FROM A COMIC BOOK (keyword: Comic.) Superman’s whole premise is based off of the fact that he IS super human, in every aspect. The most important super-human trait he possesses is his “super” morality, but that alone isn’t entertaining enough for a whole series to be based off of ( Clark Kent and His Fantastic Tales of Morality just doesn’t seem like it would make the cut in a Hollywood producer’s office. ) Are you saying that you dont like the hero because he has a weakness, or because of his weakness? I feel that either way, you would argue. Superman has a weakness as a way of letting the people know that everyone (even one with super powers has weaknesses), For Superman (in particular) it is his PAST, which is cleverly (and abstractly) referred to by fragments of crystal from his HOMEplanet. And apparently you weren’t paying attention to the fucking movie, here, because to get the Kryptonite, Lex Luthor went to a museum’s ASTEROID exhibit (**from an asteroid that landed the day that superman came back, to be specific). And yes, how lovely it would have been for the protagonist of the movie, and series to be killed by some jackass of a screenwriter! And I am absolutely ENFATUATED with the way that Little Walter speaks about love, since he is an expert on the topic!
    ————————
    Third: Perhaps this is hard to comprehend, but I will try. If you listen to the audio clips that are backflashed throughout the movie, you would realize that Superman is NOT TRYING TO SAVE HUMANS FROM DYING. Superman, instead is PROTECTING humans from bad. I don’t recall the exact quote but it was rather crucial to the premise, and goes something like “The world will look up to you, and draw strenght and morality from your power.” He chunked the rock into space not because he was like “hey fucking look at me, I can do anything EXCEPT not die when exposed to fucking green rock that has no reason to be as common as it is on Earth based on the fact it’s part of his home fucking planet that blew up a jillion miles away.” He did it, because good has to triumph: It’s called a story with a moral.
    —————–
    I don’t know if you deserve a refund, but .. Stay in milk, Don’t do school, and Go to drugs.

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