the eternal paradox

(r) wal-martPeople shouldn’t say “thank you” when there is nothing for which to be thankful. Take, for example, the people who stand near the Wal-Mart exit only to say “thank you,” presumably for shopping at their store. But all you were doing, hypothetically, was buying some Preparation H for a very selfish reason; if anything, you owe them for providing the relief. And how are you supposed to respond? “You’re welcome”? They’re welcome for you to grace their store with your appearance? Or how about “No, thank you.” But she didn’t do anything…she just stood at the door, thanking you for…something.

So I propose that the next time such a situation arises, your reply be, “Thanks for nothing, you son of a b*tch.” That’s the American way.

10 thoughts on “the eternal paradox

  1. When i am working with someone at best buy, no matter what they say, my reply is “No problem” or sometimes a slight variation of it. I find that it keeps ignorant people from finding any problems with me.

    And another thing. Next time you’re checking out at a walmart read the splash screen on the debit-card-swiper-thing. And then try to convince the cashier that she didnt greet you, and get a manager over there, and just to be fully american, try your damnedest to get her fired. If this doesnt work, get a friend or 2 to do the same thing to the same person a few more times.

    and one last thing! pressing tab from this box carries me to the top of the screen. Make it take me to the name box, since i have to retype my name and email every time.! work your magic!

  2. this site is a veritable spawning-grounds of brilliant ideas.

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