all things auto actually saw a police officer helping an elderly man change a tire on the side of the interstate today, with the temperature in the mid-80’s. This didn’t have a profound effect on my perception of these men tasked with serving and protecting, but it did make me a little happy inside to see them put to good use. My mild elation, of course, was denigrated by the two other state troopers I saw sitting idly by the roadside, eager to pounce on those hardened criminals who would dare to venture ten miles per hour above the speed limit.

Driving is always fun, but it’s made even more satisfying when traffic slows to a crawl for no apparent reason. This may be due to a single foreign/female/elderly motorist creeping at a snail’s pace, or just an overly-cautious driver letting one person too many merge in front of him, but whatever the case, if I’m going to be made to go fifty miles per hour below the speed limit, I want to see action. I want flames, explosions, or toxic spills. I’ll never want to see people getting hurt, but an admiration of the destruction of property is a perfectly noble pursuit.

With all this talk of locomotion, the upcoming Grand Theft Auto IV isn’t going to have airplanes, jet packs, or bicycles (according to Xbox Magazine). I could do without the airplanes or jet packs, but the bikes were pretty fun, especially in a pinch. Cars will do. The city is also going to be significantly smaller than the total area available in San Andreas, but the added detail and much-improved pedestrians are supposed to make up for it. There’s nothing like a video game to make up for what The Man keeps us from doing in real life.

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