can’t wait to eat that monkey

the simpsons (c) foxAny man would love to have a helper monkey. I know that seems obvious, but I want something a bit more specific – a simple grooming monkey. Some days I come in from the great outdoors, sweaty, bloody, and eager for a small hairy creature to remove the assorted vegetation and parasitic organisms from my external surfaces. He’d be practical and entertaining, bouncing around gleefully while picking off ticks and scrounging through my mangled hair. He wouldn’t work for free, so I’d need to groom him as well, but it’d be worth it. After all, if you give a little monkey grooming, you get a little monkey grooming in return. It wouldn’t be long before I could de-specialize my monkey and extend him to other tasks, such as retrieving items and warding off unwanted neighbors…but I’ll start with the grooming and take it from there.

And he could clean bathrooms on the side.

5 thoughts on “can’t wait to eat that monkey

  1. I believe it to be homer who said it about his personal monkey Mojo.

    Perhaps you also remember this

    Phoney McRingRing: “Are you stupider than a monkey?
    Chief Wiggum: “How big of a monkey?”

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