Sportscenter pisses me off. I used to be able to handle it – the reporters were funny, the commercials were even better, and the whole experience reeked of manliness. Now I turn on the TV for ten minutes and all I see are females reporting about basketball and hockey. So I’d be pretty indifferent to basketball anyway, but having a woman tell me about it is ludicrous. Where’s the witty writing? Where’s the identification with common masculine issues like jock itch and athlete’s foot?
But they didn’t stop there. The next five minutes were devoted to an emotional pity-piece on a man who was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease and used his situation to inspire a high school football team in the middle of nowhere. I stopped watching out of disgust, because while there were girls sitting in the studio, the field reporter for this compassionate story was a man. How far we’ve fallen as a society – first voting, and now this: females relating our sporting news?
There are very few circumstances in which this would be acceptable:
- They’re clad in string bikinis and required to “grease up” every quarter-hour. Perhaps a mud wrestling contest during the commercial?
- They’re somehow extremely clever and entertaining, rather than bland and overreaching in an attempt to be comparable to their male coworkers.
I’m not sure if the high school football team won the championship or whatever, but rest assured there will be a crappy movie about it soon enough. Unless it’s already been done.