So I was walking around my house at a quarter till midnight, pursuing my pre-sleep snack, when I heard a bird chirping away on the back porch. This didn’t strike me as odd until I considered the significance. This bird, presumably handsome and single, was attempting to woo a mate in the dead of night. To top it all off, it’s now long past the jovial springtime during which the birds frolic with the bees and nature urges reproduction.
Now I’ve taken a class on animal behavior, and in it there was an entire chapter devoted to birdsong. That was less than six months ago, and already I don’t remember anything about it. All right, so perhaps that’s an exaggeration, but I don’t remember anything pertinent to explicating a bird singing when all of his fellow birds are surely asleep. I do recall that studies showed birdsong to be of both genetic and environmental origin, so perhaps one of those got corrupted for this little guy.
Let’s attempt to explain his mysterious song on those grounds. Perhaps the bird was blind and unable to distinguish night from day. Or maybe the bird was just retarded…it’s not unreasonable to assume that other species could have individuals with lower-than-average intelligence. Failing these two options, that little guy may have just loved to sing, or he may have been overzealous about defending his territory.
Whatever the case, I’d propose that it really doesn’t matter why he’s singing, because he’s just asking to be shot with a BB gun.