I’ve been meaning to update the site for a while now, since I’ve finished with my finals, but I just haven’t been able to come up with something worth saying. So it came to me – why should I bother writing entertaining stuff anyway? I’m no slave to my own site, after all. I own it. When people start rambling because nothing has been said, that’s when bad things happen. I’m going to do it anyway:
- Finals. I’ve already established that testing is a very poor means of student evaluation and will continue to believe so until my last breath.
- Biology stories. Apparently my professor was doing research on physoclistic fish, which have to slowly move oxygen into and out of a swim bladder in order to ascend or descend in the ocean. These particular fish lived at great depths. When he caught one and pulled it up too fast, the swim bladder would over-inflate and its intestines and stomach would pour out of its mouth. He would then try to pull the fish up slower, but sharks would eat them before they got to the surface. After settling on a medium speed, some of the intestines would still be extruding and he would have to quickly insert a needle into the swim bladder to draw out the air, and then cram its bowels back in. Those fish that didn’t survive the procedure would become his supper.
- I’ve been intrigued by recently announced tablet and ultra-mobile PCs, but a personally-revitalized condemnation of materialism has elucidated their unnecessity*. These are simply devices that anyone can live without (although they are far from being the only devices to fall into such a category).
- Obligations. Aging should not automatically entail expanded responsibility. One should be able to fast-forward to the final years of his life, during which time everything is done for him by his children or a well-paid caregiver.
- I wish I could make a living playing FIFA 07 all day. In arguably the ballsiest maneuver in the history of the English premiership, I’ve transitioned Chelsea to a five forward formation, leaving only three defenders and two central midfielders. In doing so, I’ve won my last six games by the scores of 8-0, 3-0, 7-0, 5-0, 7-1, and 12-1 – on World Class difficulty. It helps to have one of the best goalkeepers in the world (at least according to the game), and my three capable defenders (led by captain John Terry) make it a breeze.
Did I mention that I despise obligation?
* “Unnecessity” – n. Coined here.