One of the best parts of “Harold & Kumar: Escape from Guantanamo Bay” is a poem Kumar wrote in college. It’s so painfully nerdy but, like a train wreck, once it gets going you can’t really look away. It was actually written in real-life by a guy named David Feinberg, and though I feel bad reciting one of the few “funny” parts of that movie, I hereby present it to you…The Square Root of Three:

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
With just some quick arithmetic
I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality
When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three
Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Terrible. Just terrible. And yet, if you like math or love, there’s something in it for you. Or if you just like creative rhyming. Don’t forget my take on math.

(c) new line cinema

6 thoughts on “1.7321

  1. cmon tht was a nyc money not a tym waaste somthin to keep u enjoyd durin the movie tym atleast the movie had a plot

  2. amazing point. that was a nyc money, and it did keep me enjoyd durin the movie tym.

    wait, are we talking about zombie strippers or harold and kumar 2? because it makes a difference.

  3. i actually love this poem i think it is to funny, & as for zombie strippers? like really? get real we all strippers are martians in disguise! = ]

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