a fitting end

from http://dryeti.blogspot.com/2007/07/greatest-camping-trip-ever.htmlIt’s kind of funny, really: you drive for over 3000 miles without incident, and then run into problems only a few hours from your final destination. Perhaps it’s not all your fault. There are many things to blame it on: the government thinking it reasonable to require the use of public roads instead of allowing driving on the median; the destructive agricultural techniques leading to harsh and desolate conditions; emissions and environmental-poisoning put forth by China and India, altering our weather patterns; Texas refusing to allocate the money needed to adequately maintain their roads; your own refusal to allocate the money needed to adequately maintain your tires. And lastly, let’s not forget the rotation of the earth, whose steadfast refusal to decelerate gives rise to increased darkness and, thereby, less opportunity for evaporation.*

So perhaps it’s mostly your fault. You couldn’t control your vehicle on a slick road and ended up spinning onto an exit ramp, taking out a little bit of state property in your wake. But one must question the motive for any fiscal reprimand in such a situation. After all, what is the purpose of a citation if not to deter reckless behavior in the future? Given that this is the case, should the same goal not be accomplished through the very results of the actions which led to the citation (namely, the frustration, hardship, and financial obligations inherent in repairing the damage to the vehicle, and the very real risk of permanent bodily injury)? You’re much more likely to slow down with slick tires and wet lanes when you’ve been through such a situation, and the issuance of a citation does nothing to further that.

I guess that ticket will do nothing but pay for the state to fix the stupid sign that “you” hit. I hope the contractors bleed them dry.

*Other blame-worthy causes which deserve honorable mention include, but are not limited to: the consistency of vulcanized rubber, the heat-retention properties of asphalt, the relentless scheduling of truckers on highly-frequented routes, the inability of auto makers to finally come out with a completely robotic and computerized transportation system, hydrogen bonds, El NiƱo, and North Korea.

And yes, it makes me feel better about the situation to write in the far-removed and oft-condescending second person.

5 thoughts on “a fitting end

  1. dude only women get in wrecks.
    women and the chinese.
    as for the ticket, wtf?
    why didn’t you just cruise off dumbass.

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