The good thing about it being 70 degrees on Christmas Eve is that Santa won’t have to wear that ridiculous parka, which is no doubt loaded with reindeer fur. Also, less reindeer dung will be needed to fuel the foot warmer of his sleigh.
Amazon has been giving away some free Christmas music for the last few weeks, if anyone still needs to get into the Christmas spirit. Alternatively, you could download this free David Byrne song, which – while not as good as “Like Humans Do” – is pretty terrible all the same. And it’s from the album “Everything That Happens Will Happen Today,” which is the exact opposite of a good quote I once heard from an Ogre, that “nothing ever happens today.”
All right, go drink some eggnog or something. Just don’t watch “The Santa Clause 2,” because not even getting into the Christmas spirit is worth sitting through that.