close, but no cigar

Tards Software has delivered some powerhouse entertainment in the past, but they really let their guard down on this one. Instead of pressing forth and churning out what should have been an obvious game design, they rested on their laurels and allowed the competition to take the idea and run with it.


Enter “Close Range,” an excellent FPS game with an imaginative story and some hardcore action. Those unfamiliar with the game or its premise should watch the news report on the game’s website, courtesy of The Onion. From The Onion’s report:

The plot follows A.J., a man with a mysterious past who must explode hundreds of thousands of human faces on a quest to save his kidnapped brother.

It really would have been a perfect game to include in a catalog already featuring such hits as the “ManBoyChildGuy” trilogy and “Moo Cow vs. Chickety DooDah: The Farm Chronicles.” For those who care less about lamenting Tards Inc.’s lack of initiative and more about shooting people in the head, “Close Range” is playable on the game’s website.

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