major malfunction’s a big day – I finally reached a video game milestone to be proud of. I have achieved 1000 team kills in BF2. It probably happened a couple of days ago and I didn’t notice, but regardless, I have either willfully or accidentally eliminated 1,003 friendly fighters during my tour of duty as a virtual soldier. Compared to 47,505 enemy kills, that’s something to be quite proud of.

And why should I deserve admiration for so many seemingly errant slayings? Well, most people who play the game probably deserve it. But it really just shows that I know what it takes to win; there’s no distinguishing between friend and foe when personal glory is on the line.

Still, I have to acknowledge those who are superior to me, and I have a long way to go to catch up with the revered SQLDIER and his astonishing 1,982 team kills. The celebration will really be warranted when he reaches 2000 TKs. Of the 39,623 total lives he has taken, a whopping 5% have been his own teammates. Keep up the good work, Captain.

Finally, no discussion of team killing could be complete without at least mentioning kentucky_teamkiller and his 201 TKs. While that may not sound impressive, he’s only played the game for 19 hours, so that averages out to a team kill every five minutes or so. How he showed that much restraint I’ll never know.

If you want to see how it’s done, don’t forget about the Tards Team Antics video over on the Battlefield 2 page.

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