not naggers

I’m back in the city, reacquainted with the sirens, the solitary (and sedentary) apartment life, and the suck. Fortunately, I have a limited-time free preview of cable, so I got to watch Wheel of Fortune tonight.

During the obligatory, dull, and often awkward biographical segment of the contestants, a woman introduced herself as being “married to [my] husband.” I’ll forgive that slip-o’-the-tongue, because there was no doubt that she was nervous. But what followed was far worse for her pride.

I was feeling pretty good, having just solved the puzzle (the clue was something about a person), when a few short letters later, our favorite wife was ready to give it a go. I felt a bit dejected, but my spirits would be lifted when she offered up this brilliant answer:

“Award-winning children’s book _____…”

…and that’s where it got interesting. Most people should be able to guess the final word, especially when it looked like this:

a _ t _ _ r

But our woman – being the wife of her husband, after all – fluidly spat out the following:

“Award-winning children’s book actor!”

Pat looked somewhat bewildered, and told her the bad news – she was incorrect. But the good news was that she had previously won a free spin, so she had the opportunity to take another guess. She opted to spin again instead, and I don’t blame her.

Now let’s think about what it would take to be a children’s book actor, much less one who has honed his craft to such a degree that it has warranted at least one award. All right, that’s enough thinking…it hurts the mind. Maybe we could just think about the number of letters in the word actor instead, as that might be easier.

Perhaps amazingly, I think she went on to win the game. It’s a crazy world.

Oh yes, the answer was truly “author.” “Award-winning children’s book author“? Those devils who act out author the clues should be fired.

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