Congress recently passed a $1,010,000,000,000 spending bill, which, among a few other things, sets aside $1,000,000 for ranchers to replace livestock killed by wolf attack. Now I’m not a fancy big-city lawyer, but I have to side with the sheep and cattle life insurance companies on this one; why should a farmer get to have his cake and eat it too? All these carpetbagging ranchers with their flights of fancy setting up shop in wolf-infested regions with nothing to lose? Maybe the sheep gets sheared and the ranchers kick back, wealthy from the wool, or maybe the sheep’s carcass is found mutilated and eviscerated by lupine raiders and the rancher gets some cool cash. Either way, it’s good times for the cowboys.
And I have a feeling wolf attacks are going to spike toward the end of the year when there’s about $925,000 left unclaimed in the fund.
On second thought, it’s policies like this that push me even harder to start my emu farm. I want me some of those sweet, sweet wolf monies.