I had a whole post written about how much I oppose the use of the suffix “-gate” for every scandal, and how we need a fencing controversy to force journalists to devise something original to avoid the repetitious term “gategate,” when a quick search yielded an article that took the words out of my mouth and just left me with this run-on sentence.
Are those meat-eating…Meatasauruses?
It’s deplorable to create a child’s toy that is grossly inaccurate to the point of skewing a child’s view of something as fundamental as diet. I’m sure you’ve heard of this from all the major news outlets by now…Gamestop is offering a bonus LEGO set for pre-ordering the game LEGO Jurassic World. This set depicts a trap set for the elusive Gallimimus, a creature whose name (“chicken mimic”) reflects its close resemblance to a modern ostrich. And a creature depicted in the LEGO set with a short neck, an elongated head and snout, and, of course, rows of razor-like teeth, presumably for shredding the drumstick found as bait in the trap.
In reality, Gallimimus (like the ostrich) had a small head atop a long, slender neck, with a beak, with no teeth…and ate plants.
I agree with your indignation at this atrociously fallacious playset. But before you write your senator, I’ll propose a simple fix: don’t call it a Gallimimus. Call it a Compsognathus, or even an infant dromaeosaur – you know, something that eats meat. Problem solved.
…Or just give a big “screw you” to any dinosaur fan over the age of four and change the name to Stegosaurus. Whatever.
Congress recently passed a $1,010,000,000,000 spending bill, which, among a few other things, sets aside $1,000,000 for ranchers to replace livestock killed by wolf attack. Now I’m not a fancy big-city lawyer, but I have to side with the sheep and cattle life insurance companies on this one; why should a farmer get to have his cake and eat it too? All these carpetbagging ranchers with their flights of fancy setting up shop in wolf-infested regions with nothing to lose? Maybe the sheep gets sheared and the ranchers kick back, wealthy from the wool, or maybe the sheep’s carcass is found mutilated and eviscerated by lupine raiders and the rancher gets some cool cash. Either way, it’s good times for the cowboys.
And I have a feeling wolf attacks are going to spike toward the end of the year when there’s about $925,000 left unclaimed in the fund.
On second thought, it’s policies like this that push me even harder to start my emu farm. I want me some of those sweet, sweet wolf monies.
I never fully grasped why people would use Twitter to solicit “retweets” or recognition of any kind from a celebrity or group. But I’m pretty proud of this:
I dug this up yesterday and hung it up in my closet. pic.twitter.com/rcv7twI8n0
— brokenlizard (@brokenlizard) November 25, 2014
The official Broken Lizard group Twitter account has shared the screenshot of the album art from Coconut Pete’s “Spanish Fly Fisherman” album that I made eight years ago. In the “Club Dread” film, they never show the whole album cover in one frame, so I had amateurly assembled and roughly straightened it for posting. It’s a fine work of art, I must say.
Let’s give thanks for life, liberty, and Coconut Pete’s paella this Thanksgiving. And if you’re bored, check out the full Coconut Pete post here.
Oh wow, they made my movie! …Well, almost.
Seven long years ago, I wrote about how fascinating it would be if a fictional film were recorded with a twenty (actual) year gap from beginning to end. Apparently, I wasn’t the first one to come up with this idea (of course, because there is no way to be original anymore). The film Boyhood was made over a twelve-year span, which is still pretty impressive…even if the protagonist didn’t lose an arm. Now that’s dedication to one’s craft.
In another case of inane ramblings becoming reality, the late Mitch Hedberg’s joke about FedEx drivers dealing drugs was funny at the time, but the U.S. government isn’t laughing anymore. They’re going after FedEx for their part in distributing drugs from illegal online pharmacies, which is about as silly as Mitch’s original joke. To recall a line from my youth, “Don’t hate the playa – hate the game.”
A month or so ago, it was made public that The Simpsons would be making a soccer-themed episode which would feature animated versions of Chelsea players. Even though I no longer watch new episodes of The Simpsons, they share a great deal of my past and having two of my interests coincide is pretty neat.
It’s funny they wasted time drawing Fernando Torres in a Chelsea uniform though.
But I also spent my youth playing with LEGO minifigures, and now I see that they’re making The Simpsons characters in LEGO form, which is the embodiment of awesomeness. Apparently they already sell a version of the Simpson’s house, but they’re adding several other key characters. These figures come with some nice details too, like Burns’ “Blinky,” Ralph’s “I choo-choo-choose you!” card, and Maggie’s “Bobo” bear. I do wish they had a Groundskeeper Willie, as he’s one of my favorite characters, but this is a good cross-section of life in Springfield.
I may have to teach the baby to play with LEGOs sooner rather than later…
On a whim, I dropped by Nickel Creek’s website the other day to see some encouraging news: they’ve made a reunion album, called A Dotted Line, to celebrate their 25th anniversary. Of course, it’s a bit disingenuous to declare 25 years of Nickel Creek when they haven’t released an album in the last nine. But I’ll take it! They’ll also be touring together later this year.
It’s only slightly suspicious that the album is set to be released on April 1st.
Nickel Creek has such a distinctive and inimitable sound. If you preorder, you’ll get access to two new songs (each can be heard on YouTube). It’s great to hear the guys together again.
Also in music…
My search for free stock photos has yielded this, one of the most disturbing images I’ve ever witnessed online.
Ready for Christmas yet?
Before we jump headfirst into the earliest Christmas (ahem, holiday) season yet, allow me to indulge the autumnophiles with a fall picture: a stretching worm on a log, atop a pool of water refracting fallen leaves just at the moment of a raindrop. It really makes one reflect on the intricate details occurring all around us while we concern ourselves with such “grander” things. That worm’s getting by OK without all the hustle and bustle…
In order to offset the addition of a category called “parenting” to this website, I’ve got to put something up about my manly new place to escape from the rigors of rearing and watch baseball, play video games, and even go to the bathroom.
It took over a week for Comcast to get up and take our money, and we’re finally back on the grid. Zuckerberg has had no idea what we’ve been doing in the meantime, and the NSA only has a slight idea because my cellphone coverage has been so sporadic. Because I’ve now entered the magic words and this post is forever monitored by security agencies everywhere, I’ll just wrap up with this: the Internet is fast, at least until Comcast decides to throttle it or cut it entirely at their whim.